I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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