I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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