i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
