I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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