I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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