we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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