They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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