would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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