then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
