Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
