considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize