You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
