I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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