Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
