Reggie can tackle my bush.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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