in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
