Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
