Christians are straight up FREAKS
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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