I think my fart just growled at me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
