you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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