dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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