help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
they need to just BURY HIM!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
