i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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