You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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