I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
