can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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