i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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