It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
