her vagine was all disorganized.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
