Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Your dad touched me again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
