well I can't set my house on fire every night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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