So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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