All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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