who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
