More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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