dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
