she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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