we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize