Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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