His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
