he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
