do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
