You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
