does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
