It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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