You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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