this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
