i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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