ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize