Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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