in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
