I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
