Sponge bath it is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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