Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
