this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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