Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize