careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I want is dick and wine.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
