I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
