Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
