they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
