i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
