if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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