So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
