I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
