Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
